Video: Chevy Volt Hits The Track, Impresses The Hell Out Of Us

After bombarding the media with an overflow of official press images, video footage of the production Chevy Volt hitting the streets has finally found its way to the web. Coldplay’s “Speed of Sound” musical accompaniment notwithstanding, actually seeing the Chevy Volt in motion effectively quieted all the bitching and moaning we’ve done about the Volt’s unimpressive design.

Video footage after the jump

Despite the fact that I doubt it ever peaked past 45mph, watching the Chevy Volt complete a lap on the track was, as corny as this may sound, a very humbling experience. Yes, we’ve read GM the riot act a countless number of times for the numerous discrepancies between the concept and production model Volts, but at the end of the day, we respectfully remove our hats in your presence, GM - 100 years and still firmly planted on the forefront of engineering.

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New Porsche Marketing Idea “I Can” Gives You Another Reason To Hate Your Middle-Class, Mediocre Life

Referred to as “I Can” [as in, "I Can Own A Porsche Without Participating In The Trafficking of Narcotics,"], Porsche’s new online interactive program allows users to create their own desktop wallpaper by uploading a picture of their own driveway and then integrating a Porsche model of their choosing into the foreground. To ensure the finished product appears authentic enough to show you what you could achieve without your nagging wife [for convenience, shovels and duct tape included in the upgrade package with all Porsche coupes], Porsche provides several Photoshop-type editing tools to adjust the size, color, and sharpness of the vehicle.

Although I was pretty impressed with my photo-editing prowess, a well-meaning friend of mine was kind enough to point out that the picture I created above utterly fails to communicate the “I am a wildly rich and successful creative genius” theme I was going for. Instead, my friend explained, given my gross annual income and my decidedly blue-collar neighborhood, my picture only makes it appear as though I have either a.) adopted the Heidi Fleiss business model or b.) begun dating a man thrice my age. Unfortunately he’s right…there go my plans for one hell of a Christmas card.

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2011 Chevrolet Cruze Unveiled: Guys, Seriously, This Isn’t The 10th Grade, Stop Copying Each Others Homework

Apparently hoping to duplicate Ford’s success in the compact car market, Chevrolet has revealed their own craptacular version of the Ford Fiesta global-design frame: the new Chevrolet Cruze. Slated to replace the Chevrolet Cobalt in the U.S. in 2011, the Chevrolet Cruze will make its official debut on the road in March of 2009 when it’s released in the European market. The 2010 European Cruze will be offered with 3 different engines, either a 112-hp 1.L, 140-hp 1.8L, or a 150-hp 2.0L turbodiesel. When it hits the United Sates in 2010 as a 2011 model, the Cruze will most likely feature similar specifications.

According to Chevrolet, the Cruze compact car is based on the Delta 2 platform and will serve as the flagship model for Chevrolet’s “Global Compact Vehicle” Architecture. Using the “Global Delta” platform, Chevrolet plans to eventually release 15 cars worldwide, a marketing plan that very closely resembles Ford’s “Global Ford” program.

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The 2009 Porsche Panamera: Cue The Inappropriate Sexual References

Essentially an elongated version of the Porsche 911, the new 2009 Porsche Panamera bears a striking resemblance to its progenitor and, unfortunately, the Ambiguously Gay Duo’s Duo-car. Glaring design flaw aside, the new Panamera is definitely an innovative move for Porsche; with this new front-engine, 4-door sedan, Porsche will begin inserting itself [giggle] into other luxury/super car markets.

Publicly fingering [snicker] the almighty Mercedes-Benz CLS as a direct competitor, the Porsche Panamera is already preparing to call down the performance-sedan thunder. Although too soon to indentify a clear winner, we will [briefly] abandon the sexual innuendo in favor of a sports-related metaphor and compare the two competitors.

Challenging the Mercedes-Benz CLS550 Coupe for its Division Heavyweight Title is the Porsche Panamera S, the Panamera’s base model. Weighing in at $127,000, the rookie contender Panamera S is knocked out in the first round by the Mercedes-Benz CLS550’s cool $69,825 price tag. Rallying for round two, the Panamera S offers a sizable counter attack with a 4.8-L naturally aspirated V8 engine, 400-hp, and an acceleration rate of 0-60 mph in about 4.5 seconds. The CLS550 matches the Panamera S’s efforts with a 5.5-liter V8 engine and 7-sp automatic transmission, but is ultimately out-performed with its paltry 382-hp.

Next up: Mercedes-Benz CLS 63 AMG v. Porsche Panamera Turbo the most immediately obvious differentiating feature between the two models is the 100k price tag difference with the CLS 63 AMG offered at $95, 425 and the Panamera Turbo rounding out at a whopping $198,000. Although the Panamera Turbo is smaller, lighter, and definitely packs a punch with a powerful with a twin-turbocharged 520-hp engine, the CLS 63 AMG doesn’t lag very far behind with its 6.3L V8 and 507-hp. For that kind of money, the Panamera Turbo doesn’t appear to have the kind of competitive edge over the CLS 63 AMG one would expect.

Not slated to make its debut until 2009, it’s impossible to prematurely calculate [snort] a winner until we’ve had the opportunity to evaluate the Panamera’s performance. One thing we can admit however – without its speed-sensitive rear-spoiler, the phallus-shaped Porsche Panamera is a hard one to swallow [hah].

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What are the Most Lustable New Cars for 2008?

It seems impossible to fathom that I am the only perpetual car shopper who is always looking for that next fun auto. While there may be many who do not consider themselves perpetual car shoppers many may believe themselves to be car aficionados or appreciators of fine autos. For those of you who, like myself, have put off the purchase of that next fun ride, as well as for those of you who appreciate the promise of the next cool auto, I have compile MY list of the Most Lustable New Cars for 2008. If you have put off buying that new car for a while these are the cars that I feel will make all the waiting worth the while. Some of these cars are still coming from their concept stage and have yet to be road tested by people outside of the manufacturers engineers, so for some their ranking is based on the Promise of what the car will be. (more…)

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Trenton police dept ban cowboy boots

But don’t worry for it’s the departments own officers who have received the banning order. This comes in the wake of a strange accident involving one of the department’s cars and a Smokers Express convenience store.

It would appear that the soles of cowboy boots are not to good when combined with driving, this is because the sole is smooth and has little grip on it, as Officer Michael Herko found out, much to his embarrassment.

Officer Herko was peacefully driving along the road in his 1997 Crown Victoria police car, when his foot slipped off of the brake and onto the accelerator, naturally he was not speeding at the time and managed to get the brakes on, but not before the car had gone into the entrance doors of the store.

This happened in the evening at around 18.15 pm so it was lucky that nobody was injured. The damage was limited to the ten feet by ten feet doors, which are mainly glass with aluminum frames, these where pushed back several inches and the damage caused was in the region of $3,500. The officer and the car were both undamaged.

Officer Herko is a long term serving police officer, which had been with the Fort Pierce police dept before transferring to the Trenton police dept around seven years ago. Trenton Police Chief, Bill Smith has issued the following instruction to the departments officers “Effective immediately, cowboy boots are no longer acceptable for work”.

Source [Jalopnik]

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